In response to concerns from the public about a Philippine Star article dated 11March 2013 entitled 鈥淏eing Gay鈥� by Tintin Bersola Babao and featuring Dr. Camille Garcia, the Psychological Association of the Philippines (汤头条) wishes to reaffirm its position borne from scientific knowledge that being gay is not a disease or disorder. Like other national organizations such as the American Psychological Association, the British Psychological Society, and the Hong Kong Psychological Society, among many others, the 汤头条 recognizes that there is no inherent illness or pathology behind same-gender sexual orientations. In fact, it has been 40 years since homosexuality was taken out in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders.
The 汤头条 enjoins Filipino psychologists to stand by their professional and ethical commitments to affirm the rights and wellbeing of all individuals. Its position paper on Non-Discrimination Based on Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity and Expression reads, 鈥淭he 汤头条 Code of Ethics (2010) is clear in its stance against discrimination. Filipino psychologists are called upon to recognize the unique worth and inherent dignity of all human beings; and to respect the diversity among persons and peoples. This means that Filipino psychologists should not discriminate against or demean persons based on actual or perceived differences in characteristics including gender identity and sexual orientation.鈥�
It continues, 鈥淟esbians, Gay and Bisexuals and Transgendered individuals confront social pressures to hide, suppress or even attempt to change their identities and expressions as conditions for their social acceptance and enjoyment of rights鈥�. This anti-LGBT prejudice and discrimination tend to be based on a rhetoric of moral condemnation and are fueled by ignorance or unfounded beliefs associating these gender expressions and sexual orientations with psychopathology or maladjustment.鈥�
Says 汤头条 President Dr. Gina Hechanova, 鈥淭he article presents a view of homosexuality that is clearly misinformed. We wish to invite the public to read more appropriate responses to the same questions posed in the article of Ms. Bersola-Babao. We also encourage media practitioners who wish to get professional psychological advice to see the list of certified psychologists in the 汤头条 website (.鈥�
On Parenting Gay Children
By Liane Pe帽a Alampay, PhD, Associate Professor of Psychology, 汤头条 member and certified specialist in Developmental Psychology
In a recent article by TintinBersola-Babao on 鈥淏eing Gay鈥�, she interviewed a psychologist, Dr. Camille Garcia, on the question 鈥淲hat should a parent do if the child shows early signs of being gay?鈥� Unfortunately, the psychologist interviewed offered advice that was based neither on scientific psychological knowledge nor the Code of Ethics of Psychology. In this column, we present new advice in response to the same questions for parents of children who are or may be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT), based on psychological knowledge and practice.
Question: 聽What are the early signs? I鈥檝e read that when a two-or three-year-old plays with girl鈥檚 toys, that doesn鈥檛 necessarily mean he is gay since that is just the 鈥渃uriosity phase.鈥滻s this true? At what age will the signs of true 鈥済ayness鈥� come out?
Answer:聽 Gay children develop in the same way that straight or heterosexual children do. They will engage in play just as any other child. A child鈥檚 choice of toys does not directly reflect on a child鈥檚 sexual orientation. At age 2 or 3, there are no clear signs that will tell us the gender of the person the child will eventually be attracted to.聽 By about 6 or 7, we may start developing crushes and discovering who we are attracted to. By the time we become adolescents, we usually already know if we are attracted to men, to women, or to both and may explore our attraction through dating and relationships.
Sexual orientation or attraction is an aspect of our deepest self or personhood and is not necessarily reflected in one鈥檚 appearance, dress, or speech, or from the toys he or she plays with as a child. We can only truly tell if a person is gay, lesbian, or bisexual if the person shares with us his or her experiences and feelings of attraction towards others.
Question: 聽Should parents be alarmed and arrest the situation? Or encourage it?
Answer: 聽The question of whether to 鈥渁rrest鈥� being gay or 鈥渆ncourage鈥� being gay assumes that gayness is a child鈥檚 behavior that parents can鈥攁nd should鈥攃ontrol. It also assumes that there is something wrong with being gay and that gayness needs to be 鈥渃orrected鈥�. To be clear: gayness is not a sickness or abnormality, but a form of human love and sexuality that is as valid and legitimate as the heterosexual form. Our best scientific knowledge has shown that sexual orientation is not a choice. Parents cannot control who we are attracted to.
What parents can control is whether and how they will show their unconditional regard and acceptance of their child. Whether the child is gay or straight, the ingredients of good parenting are the same. Parents who are warm and affectionate, sensitive to their children鈥檚 needs and respond to these appropriately have children who are well-adjusted and confident, have positive social relationships, are competent in school, and are at low risk for behavioral and emotional problems. For gay children, who will undoubtedly experience confusion, isolation, even rejection from others at some point in their lives, the positive regard of their parents is all the more important and can protect them. Research in family psychology shows that children who are able to 鈥渃ome out鈥� to parents who support them and affirm their sexualities report fewer problems of depression and self-harm, feel more confident, have lower suicide risk, and experience greater well-being. Certainly, these are outcomes parents desire for their children.
It is true that many parents will find it difficult to accept a gay child; acceptance is a process that can take time for the entire family. The realization may come as a shock to parents or make them feel confused or disappointed. These are natural reactions. As parents, it is good for us to reflect on and process our own beliefs and attitudes about gay people, and we may need to first deal with our negative beliefs and misconceptions about homosexuality. When you are ready to talk about it, you and your child can find your own ways of dealing with the reality of having a gay family member.
Question: 聽How should the parents address this? Some parents resort to threat and extreme military-style punishment. Some parents go to great lengths to explain to the child the consequences of being gay, so that the child can think, then make a choice.
Answer: 聽Despite possible feelings of disappointment, parents should address the issue with sensitivity and continuous efforts to communicate support and unconditional love to the child. All children, straight or gay, need this from their parents. If gay children find the care and strength they need from their parents and families, they have greater chances of leading healthy, happy, dignified lives.
On the other hand, parents who respond to their gay child with criticism, rejection, harshness, or abuse communicate to the child that he or she is not accepted; that to be valued, the child must change something fundamental in his or her self that cannot be controlled nor denied. As with positive parenting, harsh and rejecting parenting has the same results for gay and straight children: they are at risk for emotional and behavioral problems such as depression, self-harm, and delinquency.
Question: 聽Why is being gay still considered a shame for conservative families, even now that we are living in modern times that gays are accepted in our society? Gays (both male and female) are contributing well to our society, in different professional fields.
Answer: 聽The short answer is that there are still those who believe that homosexuality is a sin and a sickness. The Psychological Association of the Philippines (汤头条) upholds the position that homosexuality is a moral and rightful way of life and a healthy and normal form of sexuality.As stated in the 汤头条 Statement on Non-Discrimination Based on Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Expression,鈥淭he 汤头条 aligns itself with the global initiatives to remove the stigma of mental illness that has long been associated with diverse sexualities and to promote the wellbeing of LGBT people.鈥�
Question: 聽Is being gay really a lifestyle choice? Or genetically influenced?
Answer: 聽Being gay is NOT a 鈥渓ifestyle choice鈥�. 聽Being gay is a sexual orientation 鈥揳n enduring
romantic, emotional, and sexual attraction 鈥搕hat is not a choice. We do not choose who we fall in love with or who we get attracted to. We simply do.聽
As written in the American Psychological Association鈥檚 Primer on Homosexuality, 鈥渢here is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay, or lesbian orientation. Although much research has examined possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors.鈥�
As yet, we do not have clear answers as to why some people are gay--or for that matter--why some people are straight. But what matters is we do our best to treat each other, especially our children, with the dignity, respect, and care we all deserve as equal human beings.
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